Why change is stressful

two frightened people

To understand why change can be stressful, I first need to give a brief biology lesson about how the brain works.

Our brain’s purpose is to keep us alive. To do that, it predominantly relies on two systems: seek reward and avoid threat.

You probably already know about these. The reward system makes us feel good, and includes the release of chemicals such as dopamine and oxytocin.  A mild change can be rewarding.  We like a bit of novelty – to explore and learn new things. 

Our threat or stress response is known as the ‘fight-flight-freeze’ response.  Adrenalin and cortisol are released, triggering physiological changes such as increased heart rate and focussed vision.  Take a look at this video for more.

Threat is more powerful than reward

The threat response is far more powerful than the reward response.  This makes sense from an evolutionary point of view.  We can survive without finding food for a while, but it just takes one threat to kill us.  

So in order to avoid threats and gain rewards, the brain is constantly on the lookout for changes in our environment.  If things are as expected, we feel calm.  But if our brain detects change, we are wired to go on alert and assume the worst until proven otherwise.

So it’s frustrating when leaders say their employees should be more resilient when faced with change.  They’re human, and our brains are hardwired to see change as threatening.  We need to remember and be empathetic to that.

Change load and fatigue

Change can be stressful. While a change may be as good as a rest, our brains can be threatened by the uncertainty, and it takes mental energy to shift habits, unlearn old ways and learn new ways.

How much change is too much?

You may have read or heard something like: ‘moving house is more stressful than divorce’.  This is usually based on research that asks people to rank the stress of various life events.  The best-known is probably the Holmes-Rahe Social Readjustment Rating Scale.  Holmes and Rahe (1967) developed a unit score for a list of 43 stressful life events.  If you add up the scores of all the events you’ve experienced in the previous year, you can predict how likely you’ll become ill from the stress.

Have a go – you can try the Holmes-Rahe Stress Inventory here.

I’ve just done it and I’m over 300, even though I haven’t experienced any of the top stressors!  (And note how even supposedly positive events, like holidays, have an associated readjustment score.)

Although the research can be critiqued, the idea that there is a stress load – that stressful life events on their own may be manageable, but when they come together, the cumulative effect can push us over the edge – is an important one.  Although there will be some changes we can’t control, as individuals we may have more control than we think on the timing of some of these events.  You might choose to avoid or delay changing job if you’ve just had a child, for example. 

And of course, this has implications for change events in organisations too.  A lot of the changes they impose on their employees are choices (upgrade of IT systems, moving offices, restructuring and downsizing etc) and therefore the timing can be adjusted.  So if you’re going through something exceptional like the Covid19 pandemic, which is causing widespread disruption for everybody, you have to stop and think:  is now really the right time to insist everyone change their passwords? 

It might be something really small that finally pushes people over the edge…

See the next post for more on this idea.

References:

Holmes, T.H. and Rahe, R.H., “The Social Readjustment Rating Scale“, Journal of Psychosomatic Research, Vol 11, Issue 2, August 1967, pp 213-218.

Invest in Time to Think

'The Conversation' a statue in Havana Cuba of two people sitting and talking

Working people are stressed.  The modern workplace seems to be a place of long hours, with an ‘always on’ culture and an addiction to busyness, reacting and just ‘doing’ stuff.  So it’s more important than ever to take time out to reflect on what you’re doing, in order to take control, make adjustments, learn and improve, re-focus and plan ahead.

Many people think they don’t have enough time in their calendar to stop and reflect.  However, investing time and effort in reflecting can be time well spent and can actually save time in the long run. It can:

  • help you feel a sense of achievement as you remember and celebrate what you’ve accomplished
  • help you question your activities and behaviour and see if you can learn new or better ways to do things
  • allow you to think longer-term and plan or focus on how to spend your time best.
  • help you learn and improve over time

Self-reflection is good, but you need to be disciplined.  It’s easy to be pulled back into doing something ‘urgent’ again.  Reflecting alone might also keep you stuck in a certain way of thinking.

This is where having a coach can be helpful.  Coaching can be seen as reflecting with a partner – a thought partner.  This brings a number of benefits:

Scheduling in time

My coachees have commented that the logistics alone can be helpful in making progress.  Having a coaching session scheduled in the calendar commits you to taking the time and space you need to think.

Accountability partner

Having a coach means there is someone who will hold you accountable for any actions you decide to take forward.  Because you know your coach will ask you about the actions you’ve promised to do, you’ve committed to a deadline and this gives the impetus to move forward, and keeps you on track. 

So the discipline of putting time in the diary, and having someone to hold you accountable, can be helpful in itself.

The power of speaking your thoughts out loud

In addition, coachees have remarked on how powerful it is when you speak your thoughts out loud.  Somehow, the thoughts that have been mulling around in your mind suddenly become real when they are spoken to another person.  You hear yourself saying the words and consider how they sound.

This is where the skills of a coach can really add value.  The coach will listen intently and reflect back the words you’re saying.  They may also reflect what they notice from your emotions, body language, tone etc.  You know your coach will not judge you but rather may ask you questions to deepen your thinking.  And your coach won’t offer their own ‘solution’ or rush to give advice.

So however you decide to do it, if you want to make progress, invest in time to reflect.

“The quality of everything we do depends on the quality of the thinking we do first.” Nancy Kline